Matthew 18:21-35
21 Peter came and said to [Jesus,] “Lord, if my brother or sister sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times.
23 “For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. 24 When he began the reckoning, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him, 25 and, as he could not pay, the lord ordered him to be sold, together with his wife and children and all his possessions and payment to be made. 26 So the slave fell on his knees before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ 27 And out of pity for him, the lord of that slave released him and forgave him the debt. 28 But that same slave, as he went out, came upon one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him by the throat he said, ‘Pay what you owe.’ 29 Then his fellow slave fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ 30 But he refused; then he went and threw him into prison until he would pay the debt. 31 When his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their lord all that had taken place. 32 Then his lord summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked slave! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I had mercy on you?’ 34 And in anger his lord handed him over to be tortured until he would pay his entire debt. 35 So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
33 Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I had mercy on you?
In response to Peter’s question about forgiveness, Jesus tells a story about showing mercy. I’ve never thought of forgiveness and mercy as being synonyms. This connection adds some depth to my understanding of forgiveness.
In my mind, showing mercy is more transactional. In mercy, I choose not to demand what’s owed to me, or to exact punishment that a person deserves, or to give a gift. I think of forgiveness more as an internal act of the will. I choose to release the other person and myself from bondage to a wrong that was done to me. There’s plenty of room for crossover here, so I’m probably splitting linguistic hairs…
The point of the lesson is Jesus’ command that we forgive others as freely as we have been forgiven by God. Jesus stresses the importance of forgiveness because mercy and forgiveness are the hallmarks of a loving community.
We often tell our children that you don’t have to like everyone, but you do have to love them. This separates our emotions from our will. Liking someone is an affinity, an emotional response. Loving and forgiving each other is an act of the will. In love, we choose to name the wrong that has been done to us, to hold each other accountable for making amends where possible, and then we choose not to hold that wrong between us by forgiving. That act of forgiveness sets the person who was wronged, the person who wronged them, and the entire community free from bondage to resentment, bitterness and unresolved anger. It is the Christlike thing to do.
Prayer: Lord Jesus: It’s so easy to get angry and walk away when we’ve been wronged. Help me with the hard work of restoring and nurturing relationships to give glory to God. AMEN